I don't understand my body right now. No, not my body, I don't understand my brain. Wait, not my brain, maybe it's my emotions. No, it's not my emotions, maybe I don't understand my hormones. No it's not hormones either, perhaps it's my body altogether. But is it? Or is it my brain? Ugh! I just don't understand anything right now. I mean, I'm feeling tired from work and I want to do fun stuff. But I don't want to do fun stuff now, because I know there's work tomorrow and the 'fun' in fun stuff won't feel so fun when I know that if I do fun stuff now, I'll be left hanging and wanting to do more fun stuff. That would lead me to pulling all-nighters and feeling cranky in the morning!
But when I get home and know that I have a day-off the next day, I find myself thinking of wanting to do a lot of things. A lot. I get confused and I find myself an economist all of a sudden, trying to weight the pros and cons of the 'fun' stuff that I want to do. I lie down thinking about them some more and then it takes time, until I realize that I spent a couple of hours doing nothing but thinking about what to do on bed. I ask myself where the time went after pondering on the bed. And I just told myself to wake up early in the morning so I can do the many 'fun' things on the morning of my day-off! But it's already 3am!
The next thing I know is waking up when it's time for lunch! It'll take time to cook and eat and wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen! And then comes the afternoon, I still don't have a choice on what fun thing to do. I realize that it's 2pm! There's about 4 hours left til I prep supper and that will take time too with its own cycle! Time's running out. I choose one fun thing and then try to enjoy it, but then after an hour, I don't get to enjoy anything, because I kept thinking of something else that would possibly more fun! So I choose another, but I can't enjoy it, coz' it's 4pm already. It's getting dark outside! There's still time on this day-off, right? It should be a fun marathon! If I do a movie marathon or a videogame marathon, will I enjoy it? I don't know, I surf the Internet instead, while contemplating. And if I choose one marathon, that means I'll have a shorter 'marathon' on the other! But I have to make a choice, because there's work tomorrow! Will I enjoy my choice knowing that I have to work tomorrow?! Or maybe I could just lie down?
The bottom line is: It's not right to procrastinate on doing fun things!
I feel your pain. One time I had a feeling that I was going to fart, but I held it in; I was never the same ever since.
That explains a lot about you.
